i hate myself for loving you

Midnight gettin' uptight where are you
You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two
I know i'm hangin' but i'm still wantin' you

Hey jack it's a fact they're talkin' in town
I turn my back and you're messin' around
I'm not really jealous don't like lookin' like a clown

I think of you ev'ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but i run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you

Daylight spent the night without you
But i've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do
I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through

Hey man bet you can treat me right
You just don't know what you was missin' last night
I wanna see your face and say forget it just from spite

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but i run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the things that you do
I wanna walk but i run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you

I think of you ev'ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but i run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you

im goin to break.


breakaway fr my disgusting atrocious life tht im livin in ata moment. need a fresh start. going to view evtg in a bright new light! gna be super optimistic n ultra disciplined. gna be a much better person. cannot slack! even if i die trying to accomplish all the above! need a role model. actually i tink chris fits tis role v well! he knows how to prioritise.. how to balance his work n play.. he is discplined yet exceedingly retarded ata same time. haha the best part is.. like me.. our world is a stage! all those reading tis now.. pls help me and scold me .. motivate me to be more studious!! i hfta win xiaoyudian in our nerd comp!! n im alr losing like 100-1. ughh! ahha.. i feel sooooooooo deprived of a proper social life ata moment. i need town.. i need to havoc .. i need to gamble.. i need to just let go and go crazyyyy!!! thts just wat i need. i need to hang out with my girls.. so we'll all go mad n bimby tgt!! i need a wild party!! i need kbox so i can sing n scream all i want!! i need a holiday!! to get far away fr all of tis crap! how i wish i was still in tioman.. or sibu.. well at least ill be gg melbourne ata end of e yr! (: (: the only sad ting is tt my stupid kc wont be der.. she will be in hk! how sad is tt. i tot we cld havoc over der with my sis! -sad- oh well...!!! ahhaa.. at least i got chow n all my blk B neighbours (esp lindaaa) to go mad with for now! ahhaa.. ah well. the weirdest tings haf been happening lately.. i tink so far only chris n yuying knw abt it.. its just odd. i mean. i was inta past. but im not now. its weird to go back. i cant! its quite disgusting. i cant even bear to tink of it! its just plain weird. why do pple treat others so fucking _ _ _ _ !!! i cant stand it! ewwwwww! JUST STOP IT!

xiaoyudian ----> cheer up u silly rain drop! ahhaa..i still dun dare to drink the white tea!!! -FAINTS-
chow char ser cheri ------> KBOX N TOWN NOWWWWW!!!
evelyn ---------> dun keep ponnin lessons lor u twit! lets work hard tgt!
everyone ------> does anyone knw where to get a nice leather shoulder bag!!?!?! -pulls hair desperately-

its 2 am.. and i am just staring into the comp and stoning. many thoughts running thru my head but i cant seem to be able to get a hold of each individual thought and analyze or even ponder over it. everything is happening and moving so fast. i feel so outta control of everything i do. my oh so routined life is starting to tk a turn for the worse..!! somebody grab a hold of me and wake me up fr this living nightmare im in..!!! been slacking the whole of last wk aft da econs exams n i cant seem to get back (if i was ever in it) to the studying mode! i got a language of language exam next fri n im sooooooo dead!! even chris is worried.. i shd be panicking!! but somehow i feel so numb. there seems to be this void in my heart that refuses to leave. i haf no idea why it reappeared again. the last time i had it was.. hmm.. a very long time ago.. during the gd ol sn days. there hasnt been any unhappy/tragic/annoying recent event tht cld explain it either! odd. i guess im just going thru a phase in life where u keep reminiscing and dwelling in the past or inta slums of the current. yikes! recently ive been pulled into two peoples lives.. its rather interesting cz me n two other girls have been hafg very very interesting and astonishing talks abt these two pple.. and the best ting is.. we get both sides of the story along with it! nonono we're not bitching.. we're just acting like over-concerned parents who wna mk sure eyr children are fine n taken care of. ahhaa. altho the most we can do is be silent observers (since we're obviously not spse to knw too much abt it or even at all). its amazing wat some pple go thru for love or wat ey tink is love and wat some others dont. i've learnt to view pple thru many angles (bad/gd) and not be so rigid or discriminative of my views on others. its always best to tk a step back and look at life and the pple tt revolve ard urs. once again our observation on these 2 pple haf proven tht love is blind.. it hurts.. and tht there are an infinite number of sides to each episode n each to varying degrees. to the girl onta receiving end of this rather painful episode.. i am extremely proud of how positive u are on ya outlook of life despite the seemingly numerous obstacles or pits cast ur way. you are truly brave and wise and im just thkful u are okay. to the guy.. i hope u knw wat ure losing n i hope ure making the right decision. n i definitely hope u werent just playing with her heart cz then it wld totally err our thoughts/views on ya.. well lets just say noone likes players and noone likes to be played. to the 2 parenteers!! u guys are the funniest larh! ahah. glad we've gotten closer thru our various 'gossip' sessions!! (: guess i shd learn fr her.. be positive and start doin sth abt my slummy crummy life eh? (:

ahhh.. its been terrible e past few days. down with flu.. the usual fever, whole body ache, nausea, headache tt doesnt seem to wanna go away.. n phelgm! oh boy.. better not get another asthma attack! ahaha but its strange tho.. in times like these.. u suddenly realise that people ard u can actually or are really very nice! ahhaa.. i was completely surprised.. amused.. and of cz super appreciative of all the concern i received!! ahha.. kc who skyped me... huimin who came over with a packet of milo cz i was hungry... xiaoyudian who dropped by to umm.. show concern i guess (but ended up insultg me) ahah i really dno why he came over actually.. my lovely neighbours who provided me with enuf panadols to last me a lifetime.. my mom for her constant calls to mk sure im alright.. my sis who is overseas who keeps giving me tips on how to n making sure im alright.. ping who came over to relieve my boredom n entertain me with her singing n umm.. issues.. ahah .. michelle who umm shared my illness! ahaha chris who da paoed dinner for me n refused to tk my 10 cents to mk me feel guilty! ahha n shuo er aka dao kia tt provided me with macs apple pie.. fish porridge and a tube of vit C n simultaneously kept me v amused with his um... lameness n eccentricities.. (: wat can i say man.. I LOVE U GUYS! AHAH thks for making my ill days soooo much better! -hugs-

My love throws me like a rubber ball
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
She won't catch me or break my fall
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Baby's got blue skies up ahead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
You know she likes a dry kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
I'm losing you
I'm losing you yeah
Ain't love the sweetest thing
I wanted to run but she made me crawl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Eternal fire, she turned me to straw
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
You know I got black eyes
But they burn so brightly for her
This is a blind kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
I'm losing you
Oh oh oh, I'm losing you
Ain't love the sweetest thing
Blue-eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
You can sew it up but you still see the tear
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
Baby's got blue skies up ahead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
Ours is a stormy kind of love
Oh.. the sweetest thing


im losing you :(

ahha candid in my dads car (:
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more close up i guess. altho not much diff?
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mommy took tis! haha.. ser is too tall larh
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artistic poses? well certainly for cheri it was. haha
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seriously dunno wats gg on... i tink we were trying to act pervertic...
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two rather sad girls. and my finger! bwahas.
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tis is just gross. ahha only cheri looked 'cute'
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okay tis is qt a bad pic. ahaha
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we absolutely loveeeeeee to act dao
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our noses are odd.. but cheri's cheeks are the ultimate!
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hmm.. messy hair!
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oh boy do i love cheri's face here! (: we were both zao geng queens larh!
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acting silly! haha
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my dearies (:
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yes this was one of e cross dressers ata DnD. ahha.. she was rather um...voluptous wont u say?
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